You are not alone

In response to:Nearly a year ....

2009-02-04T21:58:43+01:00

I have felt, and still feel the same way a lot of time, Abi. It will be two years in July since my daughter was stillborn. I too feel guilty for being here sometimes. I keep thinking "it should be her, not me". My heart is here for you, Abi, should you need a friend.

I have been told to live for my daughter. Doing something in her name does help a bit as well.

Hugs,
Ryan

In response to:April, The second of Two

2009-01-09T08:35:09+01:00

Thank you xx

In response to:Nearly a year ....

2009-01-09T06:01:21+01:00

The gilt is a natral part of the process hun, you are getting there xx

In response to:Nearly a year ....

2009-01-08T23:22:37+01:00

Hugs.

X

In response to:Nearly a year ....

2009-01-08T17:40:27+01:00

Yes
x

In response to:Nearly a year ....

2009-01-08T16:06:56+01:00

it makes total sense you cant spend your life in the dark its not what they would have wanted. that spark of light will grow but the pain will always be there the memorys will still grow strong and the guilt will not go even though there is no real guilt.
Hugs

In response to:Nearly a year ....

2009-01-08T13:19:27+01:00

:yes: x

In response to:April, The second of Two

2009-01-08T12:37:32+01:00

First time I read this blog.
First time I read your story.
Just want to give you a big hug.

xx

In response to:Nearly a year ....

2009-01-08T11:58:45+01:00

It does.

In response to:Nearly a year ....

2009-01-08T11:50:13+01:00

Yes, totally.

xx

In response to:Nearly a year ....

2009-01-08T11:46:35+01:00

God yes, it makes complete sense.

I wish I could say something that would make you go "Oh, that's it, I won't feel guilty..." but I never managed to do that with myself and my Dad so why try and BS you into doing it?

The thing is though... the guilt does need to be shackled a bit, chain it in the corner and let it talk sparingly, don't let it be in charge. (I could make a comment here but... different time, different place)

The fact is it's right to find some happiness in a world after, however you'll never forget, never let new things drive him from your head and DEFINITELY not from your heart, that's a given.

But, it's also normal, healthy and logical to feel some guilt about it.

The guilt doesn't stop it being right though.

In response to:Nearly a year ....

2009-01-08T11:26:06+01:00

Completely.

x

In response to:Nearly a year ....

2009-01-08T11:20:32+01:00

Time, so they say 'is a great healer.'

I dont think it means we have forgot just because we see a glimmer of light at the end of a seemingly endluss tunnel of darkness and pain.

There is no need for guilt just because your life goes on.

It isnt a situation I have been in personally, but I know several people who jave, and though they never forget, they are able to get on with a life that needs to be lived.

All the best to you for 2009.

xx

In response to:Nearly a year ....

2009-01-08T11:19:00+01:00

No guilt - for the love remains.

x

In response to:Hospital update

2008-12-18T16:55:11+01:00

Thanks, Chyna...GBHs...XXX

In response to:Hospital update

2008-12-18T16:54:52+01:00

Thanks...GBHs...XXX

In response to:Hospital update

2008-12-18T16:53:02+01:00

HLOL...I've posted this in the wrong blog...sorry...it's on the 2nd Jan...GBHs...XXX

In response to:Hospital update

2008-12-18T16:02:00+01:00

I hope it all goes well, Jen. Towards the end of next month, isn't it?

Tom.

In response to:Hospital update

2008-12-18T15:37:38+01:00

:) x

In response to:Hospital update

2008-12-18T15:24:46+01:00

*big hugs* xx

In response to:Happy Birthday Carrie-Ann

2008-09-30T18:07:53+02:00

X Hugs X

In response to:Happy Birthday Carrie-Ann

2008-09-30T12:58:24+02:00

As always, as ever x

In response to:Happy Birthday Carrie-Ann

2008-09-30T09:22:29+02:00

*hugs* xxx

In response to:Happy Birthday Carrie-Ann

2008-09-30T08:22:40+02:00

In response to:Happy Birthday Carrie-Ann

2008-09-30T06:47:20+02:00

Hugs.

X

In response to:Happy Birthday Carrie-Ann

2008-09-30T01:13:40+02:00

Bless your daughter and Happy Birthday to her. xxx

In response to:6 Months

2008-09-22T23:10:05+02:00

I know all about those two different people.

Fear not - you eventually split into about eight, and they all get to share that shit around.

;)

x

In response to:6 Months

2008-09-22T09:29:23+02:00

As you say such a short time but feels like so long.

We all have our way of coping, and you seem to be doing just that, no cliches from me hun, we are here when/if you need us

In response to:6 Months

2008-09-21T01:29:13+02:00

In response to:6 Months

2008-09-20T19:33:44+02:00

I like both of them and I've missed them a bit. One day they will be able to get together again I think, but it will take time.

XX